Fight Fire With Fake Death
by My Whole Life Is Thunder
Summary: Everybody hates Tony snooping throught their stuff but, with the help of Breena Jimmy takes a stand. OCC. not great written purely for fun. T for fake death. Jimmy/Breena


Jimmy Palmer opened the door to his apartment.

"Hey honey how was your day?" Breena asked from the couch.

"Meh" Jimmy replied entering and joining her on the couch.

"What happened?" Breena asked.

"Ugh Tony raided my desk." Jimmy replied.

"I thought he was your friend." Breena said.

"He is but, tomorrow is April fool's Day and I think he has something planned he hit everyone except Gibbs. The good news is he isn't suicidal." Jimmy explained.

"What all did he take?" Breena asked.

"My coffee mug, our engagement picture, and my box (his box was a small shoebox containing the journal he kept, a bottle of cologne Michelle had given him and a picture of her along with a few toys of his)."

"Oh I'm sorry I hope he returns it in good condition." Breena replied.

"Me too my joke pills were in there." Jimmy told her.

"Joke pills?" Breena questioned.

"You remember at your family picnic I gave some to your little cousin and freaked everybody out?" Jimmy asked her.

"Oh yeah those" Breena said.

"Sheesh Tony will probably keep those he loves pranks and nobody can ever beat him he's just too good." Jimmy sighed.

"What if those pills Tony took were important say heart pills and without your dose you died?" Breena asked with a sly grin on her face.

"That would freak Tony so bad!" Jimmy cried. "Good thing they are… Oh" he finished before realizing her plan.

Jimmy took out his cell and called the others to see if they would help him with the plan. Ziva, McGee, and Abby agreed without hesitation, Ducky was hesitant at first he even went off on some cautionary fable about the consequences of practical jokes then he noticed the mustache Tony had drawn on his face when he dosed off at his desk that day "ANTHONY!" he called before declaring himself "in", Gibbs agreed pretty quickly but, said if there was a case or it got out of hand he was calling it off, last he called Vance Jimmy was shocked that he was in.

"…I'll be seeing you in all the familiar places…" Tony sang as he entered the Bullpen the next morning. "We would get weekend shift April fool's day weekend." He thought.

His thoughts were cut off by seeing everybody waiting for him he knew something was off Abby had her hair down and was crying leaning against McGee's desk, McGee was standing next to her with his arm around her, Ducky was sitting in the chair with his head in his hands, Gibbs was behind him rubbing his shoulders, and Ziva was at the end of the desk, hand places on it, looking down when Tony entered she shot him a dirty look.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"You didn't hear Jimmy died last night?" McGee informed him.

"What happened?" Tony asked.

"You should know you killed him!" Ziva yelled.

"Excuse me?" Tony questioned.

"You should have left his desk alone." Gibbs barked.

"What are you talking about!" Tony cried.

"Mr. Palmer had a severe heart condition and when you ransacked his desk you swiped them meaning he missed his dose last night by the time poor Breena realized what was wrong and got him medical attention it was too late. Poor dear hasn't stopped crying since he flat lined." Ducky explained.

Tony felt as though he had been punched in the gut as he stumbled to his desk. He couldn't believe Jimmy was dead and he had killed him. To make matters worse everybody started shunning him after they informed him he had killed Jimmy. He ran over to his desk where he had hid everybody's stuff sure enough he found pills.

About an hour later Breena walked in in a black blouse and dark jeans she had tears in her eyes.

'OH BREENA I'M SO SORRY!" Abby cried.

"Thank you I just can't believe Jimmy is gone it was just so unexpected! Oh Abby loved him so much!" Breena cried. She shot Tony a dirty look.

Tony sank down into his desk never had any of his pranks gotten him in so much trouble the worst was when a kid named Manny Jones from summer camp got a sprained ankle after Tony put shaving cream in his shoes and he fell they had only been eleven then and all that happened was he had to spend two days in the camp office with the head consoler and Tony hated that camp so it wasn't as much of a punishment as they thought though he did get hit for it when he got home. Now he had killed somebody a good friend of his at that Jimmy had helped him so much when Gibbs was in Mexico and how did Tony repay him? He killed him. He killed Palmer.

"I was wondering if I could see my Jimmy one last time." Breena asked.

"Of course dear girl and I express my deepest condolences." Ducky told her.

Ducky and Abby escorted Breena down to the morgue to see Jimmy's body one last time before they cut him open and prepped him for burial.

"Tony Director Vance would like to see you in his office regarding your latest "joke". Gibbs told him not even looking at him.

Tony gulped and walked up to the director's office he was well screwed.

"You wanted to see me director?" Tony asked as he entered Vance's office.

"Anthony I understand you pulled a little prank yesterday that resulted in the death of autopsy assistant James Palmer is this true?" Vance asked.

"Yes Sir I accidently stole his heart pills and he passed." Tony said trying to keep from crying.

"Were you aware Mr. Palmer had a life threatening heart condition and your prank cost him his life."

"I just told you I was!" Tony cried.

"Were you aware that Breena is with child?" Vance asked.

"No" Tony gulped he had robbed an unborn child of their father.

"Were you aware that James's mother is an eighty year old breast cancer survivor? And that Jimmy was her last living family? Vance asked. "Jimmy's dad passed away from a brain aneurysm when Jimmy was ten." Vance explained.

"No" Tony said horrified he knew Jimmy's dad had did but, he didn't realize Jimmy had been so young.

"I am sorry Mr. DiNozzo but actions like this are not on par with how an agent should behave I am afraid you are fired and can never work for a federal agency or law enforcement again. Also Breena has requested that you be tried for you actions. You could be looking at some serious jail time." Vance told him.

Tony was horrified he had lost his job and could never work in even law enforcement again to make matters worse he was going to be tried and probably go to prison. One little prank had ruined his life. "Yes sir" He replied.

Vance looked away "Now get out you have until the end of the day to empty your desk" Vance told him as Tony left he heard Vance start to cry.

Tony walked back down to the Bullpen.

"So what's the verdict?" Gibbs asked.

"I am fired and will be tried guys I am probably going to prison." Tony replied.

"Good" Gibbs said.

"I feel he should be exhausted." Ziva said.

"It's executed Ziva and that would be right." McGee told her.

"Oh no life in prison would do just fine." Gibbs replied.

"Guys your being unfair!" Abby cried. "He should have his beating heart ripped out of his chest!" She whined.

"Whatever" Tony whispered as he emptied his desk when he finished he set the box on his desk, returned the items he had stolen the day before and exited the bullpen he made his way down to autopsy he entered looked at Ducky. "I was wondering if I could see Jimmy's body." Tony asked.

"Pfft I suppose you can't do any more damage." Ducky said not even looking at him.

Tony walked over the drawer Jimmy was in it had been left open Tony guessed it was because he had been claustrophobic and Ducky was very respectable of the deceased's beliefs and feelings.

"Hey Autopsy Gremlin I'm sorry I did this to you it was just a prank. Man if I had known those pills were there and what they were for I'd have never have taken them or the box they were in. I am in real hot water now I lost my job and can't work in a Federal Agency or Law Enforcement ever again oh and get this I'm being tried. Anyway enough about me dude the way you helped me when Gibbs was gone and a few other times. I hear Breena is expecting if she didn't hate me so much I'd make sure your baby knew how great a man his father was. I will never forget you. I would give anything to have you back. Rest in Peace Jimmy you were the nicest man ever and I killed you! Goodbye buddy Goodbye.

Jimmy lay silently in the open drawer he was trying not to tear up as Tony made his speech. Finally just as Tony had begun to sing Frank Sinatra's "I'll Be Seeing You" Jimmy heard everybody enter. It was time. A small smile crept across Jimmy's face and a tear formed in his eye.

"Agghhh!" Tony screamed he thought he was losing it.

"APRIL FOOLS!" Jimmy cried.

"Autopsy Gremlin you're?" Tony asked.

"Alive" Jimmy finished.

The team and Breena jumped up from the file room.

"We got you!" McGee cried.

"Classic!" Gibbs said

"Best prank ever!" Ziva yelled.

"We got you! We pranked the great DiNozzo!" Abby squealed.

"Oh Anthony did you really think Mr. Palmer would be foolish enough to not take vital pills he'd demand them back from you." Ducky added.

"Oh man I never thought I'd be smiling while my fiancée lay in a moorage drawer but, that was great!" Breena cried.

"But Vance would never…" Tony stammered.

"What the old director can't pull a prank or two?" Vance asked. "Aw man you should have seen the look on your face when I said you couldn't be an agent anymore and was looking a jail time!" He chuckled.

"So I didn't kill Jimmy?" Tony asked.

"Then what were the pills I found?" Tony asked.

"Fake ones I bought at a joke job last summer." Jimmy explained.

"So Breena are you really expecting?" Tony asked.

"No" She replied.

"Not now but, after how sexy she was with this little prank that could change tonight!" Jimmy said excitedly.

"So I am still employed and not looking at jail time?" Tony asked.

"No you are not." Vance said.

"What about your parents your mom being an eighty year cancer survivor and your dad dying when you were ten?" Tony asked.

"Sheesh no in fact I told Vance not to do that." Jimmy replied.

"I just thought if I made your past as heartbreaking as possible it would really freak Tony out." Vance replied.

Tony walked away from the scene. Jimmy was still alive and that's all he cared about. Tony vowed never to steal stuff from people's desks ever again…Today.


End file.
